Dear Parents,
Open your eyes; listen. The endless 2 AM tears are silent. The little cuts are hidden by long sleeves. The suicide letters are ripped time after time. The gloss of depression over your child’s eyes go unnoticed. Moms, the daughter you carried for nine months, shared a bond with, and nurtured is being bullied, condemned, and left for trash. Dads, the sons you taught how to play football, tie a tie, and treat a lady is being tormented and embarrassed. Your children are being sexually harassed, assaulted, and even killed because of their sexuality. And you feel completely helpless when you find out right? Wrong. If no one has the heart to help your child, you do. As parents you must decide that you’ll put yourselves aside and fight for your children because they need you.
Parents do you know? Do you know that your child is gay or lesbian or bisexual? Start paying attention to the signs. Don’t be in denial. You all have a job to do. If your child is a part of this community it’s not the end of the world. Even if you do believe so. Don’t stop talking to them or freak out and become distant. Raise them in a home where they know that no matter what they are loved and that they have a purpose. Tell them how important they are and how the world would be lost without them. Let them know that they are kings and queens. Tell them about the empires that they must build, and along the way there will be obstacles and people who want to ruin them, but they must stand tall in what they know. Ask them who’s gonna one day help other kids if they don’t. Tell them that there’s always a light at the end of every tunnel. Teach them to be confident in themselves so that no one else can tear them down. Most of all, make sure they know that they’re accepted. And if it ever gets too hard and they need a shoulder to lean on, you’ll be right there cheering them on.
If anything, this should make a stronger bond between you both. Take them out and let them dress however they want. Post their accomplishments on your Facebook. Go to pride parades with them. Meet their significant other. Go get matching tattoos. Watch LGBT web series with them. Hang a rainbow flag on the porch if that makes them happy. Get an LGBT Mom/Dad t-shirt. Even if it makes you uncomfortable do whatever it takes so that they know that you support them. Because one day, you won’t want to fight anymore. You won’t want to argue about the little things, and you won’t your baby growing up resenting you.
Don’t be afraid to talk to your child about their sexuality and don’t be afraid to listen to what they have to say. It might be a sensitive subject but it may be the conversation that stops them from contemplating suicide. Stop thinking about only yourself and think about your child. Of course you don’t know all the answers, but stop making excuses. Stop kicking them out of your homes and disowning them. Stop treating them like juvenile delinquents. Stop beating them over the head with a bible. Because I’m sure none of you are angels. Just because you, the heterosexual parent, “can’t relate” doesn’t mean that they’re the ones that are wrong. Now is that time that you roll that ‘understanding’ out of the closet. You do your best to know, and listen, and learn about your kid. Don’t be one talk away from losing your child to suicide. The worst feeling is knowing you could have done something and you didn’t.
Twenty-five percent of LGBT students have been physically assaulted at school and twenty-eight percent drop out of school due to this harassment. LGBT youth make up thirty percent of all suicide per year. Teens need a safe haven, someone to talk to and listen. Everyone needs someone to stand up for them. If your child tells you that they are being bullied, take action. Go to the school and go to war for them. Tell the principals, the teachers, the parents. Start raising awareness within the students and campaign for equality. The only way to help is by doing something.
We live in a world where it’s okay for you to hate someone. It’s okay whether it’s because of their race, religion, or sexuality. Everyday more and more people publicly express their hate for the LGBT community. Your child has enough hate and negativity coming their way, they don’t need you to contribute. What they need is your support. Stop blaming them for the negativity. Support them for accepting something they can’t change.
Just a reminder, just because you know your child is a LGBT youth and you still love them doesn’t mean you’re doing enough. Showing them is more beneficial than just telling them. You show that you love them by talking to them. You show them by taking interest in their feelings and their reality. They know you want to understand. They see you’re willing to put your feelings aside and support them whole heartedly. You stand up for them when they are being bullied and comfort them. Build their confidence so they can withstand anything. Kids who have supportive parents have successful lives. They can’t be stopped because they have high self-esteem. And there’s nothing more you want as a parent, than for your child to be successful.
I don’t know how you feel after reading this but I hope you have changed your mind. I hope you feel different the situation. I hope this will change your heart and you go talk to your children. I’m not sure if I said all the right words but I spoke from my heart. Understand that this is real life that we have to deal with and usually, even the best of us, need a helping hand sometimes. So please, reach out to your beloved child and tell them to hold tight.
Open your eyes; listen. The endless 2 AM tears are silent. The little cuts are hidden by long sleeves. The suicide letters are ripped time after time. The gloss of depression over your child’s eyes go unnoticed. Moms, the daughter you carried for nine months, shared a bond with, and nurtured is being bullied, condemned, and left for trash. Dads, the sons you taught how to play football, tie a tie, and treat a lady is being tormented and embarrassed. Your children are being sexually harassed, assaulted, and even killed because of their sexuality. And you feel completely helpless when you find out right? Wrong. If no one has the heart to help your child, you do. As parents you must decide that you’ll put yourselves aside and fight for your children because they need you.
Parents do you know? Do you know that your child is gay or lesbian or bisexual? Start paying attention to the signs. Don’t be in denial. You all have a job to do. If your child is a part of this community it’s not the end of the world. Even if you do believe so. Don’t stop talking to them or freak out and become distant. Raise them in a home where they know that no matter what they are loved and that they have a purpose. Tell them how important they are and how the world would be lost without them. Let them know that they are kings and queens. Tell them about the empires that they must build, and along the way there will be obstacles and people who want to ruin them, but they must stand tall in what they know. Ask them who’s gonna one day help other kids if they don’t. Tell them that there’s always a light at the end of every tunnel. Teach them to be confident in themselves so that no one else can tear them down. Most of all, make sure they know that they’re accepted. And if it ever gets too hard and they need a shoulder to lean on, you’ll be right there cheering them on.
If anything, this should make a stronger bond between you both. Take them out and let them dress however they want. Post their accomplishments on your Facebook. Go to pride parades with them. Meet their significant other. Go get matching tattoos. Watch LGBT web series with them. Hang a rainbow flag on the porch if that makes them happy. Get an LGBT Mom/Dad t-shirt. Even if it makes you uncomfortable do whatever it takes so that they know that you support them. Because one day, you won’t want to fight anymore. You won’t want to argue about the little things, and you won’t your baby growing up resenting you.
Don’t be afraid to talk to your child about their sexuality and don’t be afraid to listen to what they have to say. It might be a sensitive subject but it may be the conversation that stops them from contemplating suicide. Stop thinking about only yourself and think about your child. Of course you don’t know all the answers, but stop making excuses. Stop kicking them out of your homes and disowning them. Stop treating them like juvenile delinquents. Stop beating them over the head with a bible. Because I’m sure none of you are angels. Just because you, the heterosexual parent, “can’t relate” doesn’t mean that they’re the ones that are wrong. Now is that time that you roll that ‘understanding’ out of the closet. You do your best to know, and listen, and learn about your kid. Don’t be one talk away from losing your child to suicide. The worst feeling is knowing you could have done something and you didn’t.
Twenty-five percent of LGBT students have been physically assaulted at school and twenty-eight percent drop out of school due to this harassment. LGBT youth make up thirty percent of all suicide per year. Teens need a safe haven, someone to talk to and listen. Everyone needs someone to stand up for them. If your child tells you that they are being bullied, take action. Go to the school and go to war for them. Tell the principals, the teachers, the parents. Start raising awareness within the students and campaign for equality. The only way to help is by doing something.
We live in a world where it’s okay for you to hate someone. It’s okay whether it’s because of their race, religion, or sexuality. Everyday more and more people publicly express their hate for the LGBT community. Your child has enough hate and negativity coming their way, they don’t need you to contribute. What they need is your support. Stop blaming them for the negativity. Support them for accepting something they can’t change.
Just a reminder, just because you know your child is a LGBT youth and you still love them doesn’t mean you’re doing enough. Showing them is more beneficial than just telling them. You show that you love them by talking to them. You show them by taking interest in their feelings and their reality. They know you want to understand. They see you’re willing to put your feelings aside and support them whole heartedly. You stand up for them when they are being bullied and comfort them. Build their confidence so they can withstand anything. Kids who have supportive parents have successful lives. They can’t be stopped because they have high self-esteem. And there’s nothing more you want as a parent, than for your child to be successful.
I don’t know how you feel after reading this but I hope you have changed your mind. I hope you feel different the situation. I hope this will change your heart and you go talk to your children. I’m not sure if I said all the right words but I spoke from my heart. Understand that this is real life that we have to deal with and usually, even the best of us, need a helping hand sometimes. So please, reach out to your beloved child and tell them to hold tight.